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Bathroom Breakdown
Bathroom Breakdown is the third episode of NathanStitely's fan-made T.U.F.F. Puppy season. Sypnosis After eating one chili pepper too many, Dudley accidentally runs into the Ladies Room when he tries to wash his mouth with water! Discovering this, he lies about the Ladies Room being out of order so that he can hide in shame. It works at first, until Kitty has to go...bad... Transcript w/ Images {Setting: TUFF Headquarters, day. First we cut to the exterior of the agency. Then, we cut to the interior. Kitty and Keswick are eating their lunch on the table. Dudley crawls up, and starts begging for food like the dog that he is. His pupils are big and his lips are wiggling.} KITTY: Uh, Dudley? What the heck are you doing? DUDLEY: {Sad tone} Come on, Kitty. Give me some food! I know you waaant to! KITTY: {Babyish tone} No, no, no. No tuna salwad for the wittle puppy. {Pats Dudley on the head} {Dudley scoffs then crawls onto Keswick’s side of the table. He does the same begging routine he did to Kitty.} DUDLEY: {Sad tone} Come on, Keswick. Can’t you resist these sad eyes?? {Points to eyes} KESWICK: Sorry, Agent Puppy. I’m too smart to fall for the ol’ sa-sa-sa-sad dog routine! DUDLEY: {Now angry} JUST GIVE ME YOUR FOOD!! KITTY: Wait, Dudley. Why are you begging for our food anyways? KESWICK: Didn’t you even bring your own lunch? DUDLEY: Duh! I ate it already! {Flashback: Dudley is at home, preparing his lunch. He spreads a slice of mayo on one side of his bread with a knife. Then he flips the slice of bread onto the top of his super sandwich. Dudley takes the whole sandwich and swallows it whole! A few seconds later, he lets out a big burp!} DUDLEY: Man, that was a good lunch! Well, off to work! {Dudley whistles as he leaves to go to work. Flashback ends.} KITTY: And why do I even work with you? I’d like to know. {Takes a bit out of her sandwich} DUDLEY: {Stands up} There’s just gotta some food around here I can eat! {Walks away past a plate of chili peppers on an end table} But, where? {Dudley stops and stares blankly at the chili peppers. He runs up to them} DUDLEY: Hellooooow what‘s this? KESWICK: Be careful, Agent Puppy! That’s my collection of really hot peppers. I’m using them for an ex-ex-ex-expieriment! {Cut to Dudley, already swallowing the peppers whole!} DUDLEY: {Muffled} What you say, Keswick? I just ate these really hot peppers of yours. KESWICK: Oh no! Did you just realize what you’ve done?? DUDLEY: What? KITTY: Dudley, how many of those have you eaten?? DUDLEY: Uh, Kitty, why are you even asking me this? {Suddenly, Dudley’s face turns red and starts sweating. His mouth is also pitching grey smoke.} DUDLEY: WAAAAAUGH!! MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE!! {Dudley runs quickly away down the hallway} DUDLEY: WATER!! WATER!! {Dudley runs past a water fountain, a water cooler, and case of water bottles. And being the idiot that he is, runs into the restroom! He opens a stall door and sticks his head in the toilet, slurping nearly all of the water!} DUDLEY: {Sticks his head back up of the toilet. Pants loudly.} Man, THAT was hot! {But, as Dudley walks out of the stall, he stops and suddenly notices something.} DUDLEY: Wait a minute-{Close-ups of what Dudley says is shown}-Fancy restaurant soaps, scented candles, pink tiles and bathroom stalls?? OH NO!! I’M THE LAAAADIES ROOOOM!! Ugh! If anyone found out about this I’ll be the laughing stock of the whole agency! {Dudley’s imagination: A crowd of people, including Kitty, Keswick, and the Chief, are laughing at Dudley for accidentally using the ladies room. Then we pan outside the agency. A bunch of posters reading either, “Stupid dog!” or “Dudley’s such an idiot!” are shown on all of the buildings next to TUFF. Dudley’s imagination ends.} DUDLEY: AUGH!! I am SOOO dead! What am I going to do? Should I face the consequences of my actions and tell my friends OOOOR hide in shame for the rest of my life in the Ladies Room? {Short pause} GOIN’ WITH THE HIDING OF SHAME!! {Cut to the entrance of the Ladies Room. Dudley peeks out} DUDLEY: But, just to be sure… {Dudley puts a sign out of toilet paper on the Ladies Room, written in red permament marker, “OUT OF ORDER”. Then, Dudley shuts the door tight.} DUDLEY: Now, all I have to do is to relax here for the rest of my life and living on these-{Holds up a scented candle}-scented candles! {Takes a bite of it, then Dudley spits it out.} BLEECH!! For something that smells like apples sure doesn’t TASTES like apples! {Scene transition. Kitty and Keswick are still are at the table, eating their lunch. Kitty opens her canteen and starts drinking it. KESWICK: Good milk, huh, Agent Kastwell? KITTY: Uh, no. This is orange juice. You know I’m lactose intetallerant! KESWICK: Boy, that’s ironic! {Kitty starts drinking her juice quickly} KESWICK: Uh, Agent Katswell, you shouldn’t drink your juice so fa-fa-fa-fast! KITTY: {Puts her canteen down} Why’s that? KESWICK: Well, because you might have to- {Suddenly, Kitty’s stomach start rumbling.} KESWICK: -do that... KITTY: Excuse me, Keswick. I’ll be right back. {Kitty runs away to the restroom. At the Ladies Room door, the sign on the door still says, “OUT OF ORDER”} KITTY: What the-? Great. JUUUST great. Looks I have hold it in until the bathroom’s repaired. I mean how hard can it be? TWO HOURS LATER… {Kitty is shown crossing her legs and putting her hands in her crotch} KITTY: {Grinding her teeth} Okay, it’s super hard! {Just then, Daisy walks up} DAISY: Hey, Kitty. Why are dancing around like that? Are you posing for the new park statue or something? {Cut to the blueprints for the new park statue. It looks like Kitty’s pose, but Picasso-like. Cut back to Kitty and Daisy.} KITTY: No, Daisy. The Ladies Room is out of order and I REALLY have to go! DAISY: Teeheeheeheeheehee! That’s the men’s room, silly! Now excuse me, I have to pretty myself up for a date with Dudley! {Daisy, being the dumb idiot that she is, walks into the MEN’S ROOM, instead of the Ladies Room.} KITTY: Daisy, wait! That’s the wrong-{Stomach groans}-Ugh, to desperate to tell her. {Just then, the alarm sounds. The Chief appears on the monitor.} THE CHIEF: Listen up, agents! I just received intel that Snaptrap is about the blow up the bingo hall! Agent Katswell, you gotta get out there and stop him and-{Looks at Kitty’s funny postion}-Are you posing for the new park statue? KITTY: Uh, no. I have to, you know, {Whispers} take a whiz… THE CHIEF: Posing or not, go and stop Snaptrap! KITTY: Ugh, fine. {Kitty waddles away to stop Snaptrap and his evil plan. Pan into the Ladies Room. Dudley is hiding out the one of the stalls in shame. He is sitting on the toilet but only his top half is shown.} DUDLEY: Man, this isolation thing is the best idea I’ve ever had! Still, I kinda miss my friends and fighting bad guys and all that cool stuff. Oh, it’ll pass! At least I can conviently use the toilet anytime I want. {A tinkling noise is heard. Dudley sticks his tongue out in relaxation.} DUDLEY: Oh, yeah. There’s absolutely no downside to this! Except I can’t flush and make noise so that no one will notice me. {Dudley takes a whiff of his own pee. He faints out of the stall and onto the floor.} DUDLEY: {Drozily} Maybe I should start going in the sink… {Scene transition. Kitty is driving along in the TUFFMobile. She is STLL crossing her legs in desperation.} KITTY: Come on, Kitty. You can do it. Just not to think about using the bathroom and it will all be okay! {Kitty pulls up in front of DOOM Headquarters. Inside, Snaptrap and the rest of DOOM are about to set a giant, death ray to the bingo hall.} OLLIE: Boss, the ray’s perfectly in target! SNAPTRAP: Excellent! As everyone knows, today’s Tuesday, and my mom’s gone to play bingo, and once I get rid of her AND the bingo hall all together, I can be free to commit all the crimes I want without getting caught! LARRY: Snaptrap, shouldn’t we get rid of TUFF for that?? {Snaptrap pulls out his blaster and blasts the heck out of Larry!} SNAPTRAP: No one asked you, Larry! Besides, my mom’s the REAL enemy! FRANSCICO: Eh, boss. I thought your real enemy was that stupid Meerkat who keeps stealing your stuff from the golf course lost and found. SNAPTRAP: That was a close second, Francisco. You should really pay attention more. {Kitty kicks the door down and tries to point her blaster at Snaptrap, but, due to her having to pee, she fails misberbally} KITTY: {Nervously} Freeze, Snaptrap! You’re coming with pee! {Shakes her head} I mean-ME!! SNAPTRAP: Woah? What’s wrong with you? Are you posing for that new park statue? OLLIE: Uh, boss. I think Agent Katswell has to pee. SNAPTRAP: OLLIE!! Watch your language! You know my mom prevents me from saying bodily functions! OLLIE: {Sarcastically} Sorry, boss. I didn’t know your mom was SOO overprotective! SNAPTRAP: Whatever! Get her! {Francisco, Larry, and Ollie grab Kitty and start fighting her in cloud of smoke. After the smoke clears, Kitty is already tied up to a wooden chair. She tries to struggle to get free, but it’s no use.} KITTY: Come on, Snaptrap! I REALLY have to- {But, before Kitty says anything else, Francisco ties a bandana over her mouth} SNAPTRAP: {Babyish tone} Aww, does Agent Katswell have to go use the wittle potty?? KITTY: {Muffled} MSGDFFGBFVNGFGGYEFVBJNDFTVNU!! SNAPTRAP: To bad, {Snaptrap and DOOM all hold up glasses of lemonade} We were all treating ourselves to tall glasses of refreshing lemonade! KITTY: {Muffled} HHHFGJFDFJ!! {Snaptrap is about drink his glass of lemonade, until he spills it on purpose.} SNAPTRAP: Oopsies! {Kitty’s eyes widen. Larry spills his glass of lemonade on purpose} LARRY: Oh clumsy me! {Kitty’s eyes widen even more while she anxiously crosses her legs. Ollie and Francisco spill their lemonade on purpose as well.} FRANCISCO: Eh, Katswell. Doesn’t this lemonade remind you of “something else”? {Close up of Kitty’s face. A tear sheds in her eye.} {Scene transition. We cut to the Ladies Room of TUFF again. It is covered with tally marks. Dudley is in the corner shaking in fear. He’s also wearing a thick brown beard and shaggy hair.} DUDLEY: Eheheh. {Checks another tally mark}It’s about 112 minutes of isolation. {Holds up a roll of toilet paper with a smiley drawn with a red marker} Do think I’m going crazy, Mr. Toilet Paper? {Dudley makes him shakes his head} Yeah, I guess you’re right. {Suddenly, Dudley picks up Kitty’s muffling with his super, sensitive dog ears} KITTY: {Muffled} FSGBYEGBUYBYJSTR!! DUDLEY: Oh, no! {Dudley rips off his bear and shaggy hair} Kitty’s in trouble! I must save her! {Short pause} Oh yeah, I can’t leave because I’m STUCK HERE IN THIS STUPID LADIES ROOM!! There must be another way to get out of here without nobody noticing! {Dudley stares at an open window and a toilet stall.} DUDLEY: {Slaps his forehead} Duh! I must be so stupid! {Dudley leaps into the toilet.} DUDLEY: Mr. Toilet Paper, if I don’t come back alive- {Dudley flushes the toilet along with himself} DUDLEY:-TAKE CARE OF THE LADIES ROOM FOR MEEEEEEE ‘glubglubglub’… {Dudley shoots through the pipes like a rocket. Cut to DOOM. Kitty is still tied up in her chair. And Snaptrap is about to blast the bingo hall with his death ray} SNAPTRAP: Alright, in exactly ten minutes, the bingo hall AND my mom will go “KA-BLEWIE!!” KITTY: {Muffled} SGHUHNFGUHN!! {All of a sudden, a rattling is heard from a sewer grate nearby. And it bursts with water and Dudley as well. Dudley flips through the air and lands on his legs with his fist on the floor.} DUDLEY: Alright, Snaptrap! Let Kitty go! {Deep tone} Literally… LARRY: Eew! SNAPTRAP: Um, let me think about that…NOPE!! DUDLEY: You forced me to do this! {Dudley reaches his fist out and punches Snaptrap in the face, knocking him out cold! Francisco, Ollie, and Larry run up to Dudley. Dudley kicks Larry, punches Ollie, and bumps Francisco with his big fat butt! Dudley then leaps over to the death ray and opens the compartment. He starts to chew the wires apart to stop it from blasting the bingo hall. Then, it starts to leak yellow oil!} DUDLEY: Uh, Snaptrap? Why is the oil yellow? SNAPTRAP: {Leans up from the fight. He is bruised and has a black eye} Ooo! Those are those new-{Holds up five cans of oil}-Neon Oils! You know, in case you have to change your oil in the dark. Pretty cool, huh? {Kitty stares blankly at the dripping yellow neon oil and crosses her legs even harder} KITTY: {Muffled} NIWEAFYGBXESSDFM!! DUDLEY: {Stares at Kitty} Augh! Kitty! {Dudley runs to Kitty and rips the bandana off of her mouth} KITTY: {Gasps for air} Ugh. Thanks, Dudley. But, that dripping neon oil isn’t enough to stop the laser. And HURRY!! I don’t think I can hold it much longer! DUDLEY: Eww… LARRY: Hey! That’s what I said! SNAPTRAP: No one is STILL asking you, Larry! {Dudley leaps over back to the death laser. He grabs a bomb from his pocket, and SLAMS it on the death laser! The bomb counts down 5…4…3…2…1!} {HUGE EXPLOSION!!} {Pieces of the machine fly over Snaptrap, Larry, and the rest of DOOM, who are lying down on the floor.} SNAPTRAP: I shall now PLOT MY REVEN- {But before he’s about to say that, the main head of the death laser falls onto Snaptrap’s head with a thump! Dudley starts to untie Kitty.} KITTY: Great job, Dudley! {Kitty is free from the chair. She runs to the pile of DOOM agents. She holds her blaster onto Larry.} KITTY: Alright, you dirty mouse, I have only one question to ask you. Where…is…the…bathroom?? LARRY: {Scared Tone} It’s down the hall to the left! THE LEFT!! KITTY: Ugh. Fianally! FRANCISCO: Yeah, but that’s Snpatrap’s MOM’S private bathroom! KITTY: {Nervously} Never mind, I can hold it! {Scene transition. First we cut to the exterior of the agency. Then, we cut to the interior. Dudley locks up Snaptrap and the rest of DOOM in the jail cell. Snaptrap has a neck brace and bandages around his head. Dudley later walks over to Kitty and starts talking. Kitty is still holding her hands in her crotch.} KITTY: Thanks for saving me back there, Dudley. DUDLEY: Don’t mention it! After all, you are my number one partner! KITTY: {Squirms when mentioned the last line} Don’t say number one! Seriously, what is wrong with the Ladies Room today?? DUDLEY: Oh, that’s because I ate so many chili peppers and I accidentally ran into the Ladies Room and I lied about it being out of order so I can hide in shame! {Pan back Dudley’s shoulder. The Chief and Keswick have heard everything} THE CHIEF: What did you say Agent Puppy?? KITTY: Wait. So, the Ladies Room ISN’T out of order? DUDLEY: {Nervously} Well, I, uh, didn’t know that, uh, flush, love girl island, and-{Slaps his forehead} OH FORGET IT!! Just go use the Ladies Room! KITTY: GANGWAAAAAY!! THE CHIEF: Now, what’s this I hear about you and the Ladies Room? {Dudley comes clean} DUDLEY: Ugh! I accidentally ran into the Ladies Room when I accidentally ate those hot chili peppers. I wanted to tell you guys, but, I got freaked out and hid in shame because I thought you guys were going to laugh at me. KESWICK: Aw, it’s okay Agent Pu-pu-pu-puppy! Everyone gets embarrassed sometimes! For example, I got pantsed all the time back in Middle School! THE CHIEF: And last week, I stepped in amoeba poop on my way to work! {Cut to the jail cell} OLLIE: I spilled tea on my lap yesterday afternoon! FRANCISCO: Last month, I wore my shirt on backwards! LARRY: I still sleep with my-{Pulls up a baby blanket} blankie! SNAPTRAP: {Holds up a trick or treat bag and pulls out a rock} I got a rock. KESWICK: You see, Agent Puppy, embarrassing moments just happen. And that’s okay! DUDLEY: Eh, I guess you’re right, Keswick. From this day forward, I’ll never hide from hide in shame from anything embarrassing again! {Just then, the elevator opens, and Peg, AKA Dudley’s Mother, walks in with a boots and a slicker} PEG: Dudley, I almost forgot! It’s going to rain this afternoon. So put these on-{Clothes Dudley with the boots and slicker}-When you come, okay? Good. {Peg walks away. The Chief and Keswick both chuckle for a bit.} DUDLEY: {Angrily} UGH!! SHUT UP!! {Sulks away} KESWICK: Uh, Chief, didn’t we just give Agent Puppy the wrong idea? THE CHIEF: Who cares! That slicker was HILARIOUS!! {The Chief and Keswick laugh even more!} {Scene transition. Kitty is in the bathroom stall, FINALLY doing her business. She is sitting on the toilet, but, only her top half is shown.} KITTY: {Relaxed tone} Aaaaah, at long last. Sweet relief. {Looks at the empty toilet paper roll. Call out to other stall.} Uh, excuse me, can you pass me some toilet paper? {Cut to Daisy in the other stall. She is sitting on the toilet, but, like Kitty, only her top half is shown.} DAISY: Teeheeheehee! Sure thing, Kitty! {Cut to Kitty’s stall. Daisy hands her the toilet paper from underneath} KITTY: Thanks, Daisy, I…{Kitty suddenly realizes something}…wait a minute, if you just went into the Men’s Room earlier and we’re talking, {Close of Kitty’s face} That that must mean that… {Cut to outside of the stalls. Kitty’s legs a sticking out of one of them. Dudley walks by.} KITTY: {From the stall} AUGH!! I’M IN THE MEN’S ROOOOM!! DUDLEY: Don’t worry, Kitty, I know just what to do! {Dudley runs away for a few seconds then comes back and throws some things over the stall. Cut back to Kitty in the stall. Some scented candles, a red marker, and even Mr. Toilet Paper land in Kitty’s hands.} DUDLEY: Mr. Toilet Paper says you might need these for a while! {Kitty sulks as a circle crops into a black background. Then the circle crops up again to an advertisement showcasing “Neon Oil”. Cans of Yellow, Red, Blue, Green, and Purple cans are shown.} VOICE OVER: This episode of “TUFF Puppy” was brought to you by the good people at “Neon Oil!” {A pink can is shown} Now in new “Hot Pink”! {Kitty peers from the left side of the screen} KITTY: Can someone please get ME OUT OF HERE?? {Daisy appears from the right side of the screen} DAISY: Hey! {Points to new pink can} That can matches my shirt! KITTY: Not helping Daisy… {Kitty and Daisy strike a pose and the episode’s over} Category:Fan fiction